Enjoy vs. Enjoyment in what you do for a living

I had a conversation with my husband last night, which resulted in a profound discovery.  He, like so many "normal" people, had strived for doing an occupation that he LOVED.
"Do what you LOVE and never work again."
More beautiful words have never been said.  Millions strive for this "dream", and yet work in jobs they don't LOVE.

Although they are beautiful words, they are wrong.
Yep, I said it, I declare the most popular statement is WRONG!
What?  No tomatoes?  Oh, that's right, you are working your job you don't LOVE and don't have time to throw them with zeal at the moment.
Then allow me to take this small pause and explain.
VERY few people can make a living at what they LOVE....and LOVE is such a literal word.  LOVE, taken by most people in this sense, is every part, every piece, every second is BLISS!
And there is the LIE!

A surgeon may LOVE his job, but do you wonder if he also loves losing a patient, or having to work through his residency?

A teacher may LOVE what he does, but do you think he enjoys seeing a student fail for lack of trying?

The phrase has fooled most people into plugging through a life that they don't find joy in.  They do jobs that they resent and in turn pick up bad habits to compensate for their resentment.

So how did this all apply to my conversation with my husband last night?  (I tell you the above story to tell you this one!)
He was offered a job with an increase in yearly salary of double of what he currently makes.  (Holy cow I know)
the problem is, it was going back into a field he left because- he was unhappy.  He hated the stress, the pressure, the long hours.  Yes, he made a great income, but he spent a tremendous amount of money to try and find happiness on his few off hours.
Oh yes, the yearly salary can be tempting, but he is currently in a job he likes.  He's happy there.  Does he love it?
No, there are pieces he doesn't LOVE, but he enjoys it.

He doesn't do it for enjoyment.  For enjoyment he plays poker on his phone and completely check out of reality.  It is just a game, not real money, but for him it is his happy place.  his ENJOYMENT.

There is the truth.  Do what you ENJOY, so that you can also do the things you want for ENJOYMENT.

Yes there is a difference.  Find it and I believe you will find peace in your career. 

Friendly Frustration

Ever have one of those days?  You know the ones when your to-do list isn't that long.  It appears to be manageable.  Everything should be checked off before noon- OK 3 at the latest-
But looks can be deceiving....
You start on the list, check a few little things off and think all is going well with the world.  Then you start on number 4 or 5 on the list- the really important things- and BAM!  There it goes- all out the window.  One questions leads to another, and another and before you know it- it is almost 5 and you still don't have your list done.
Frustration. 
Not only is the list not done- you are now faced with even more questions and the little voices in your head (not the friendly ones either) are asking if you really are strong enough and smart enough to do what your list indicates needs to be done.

Frustration.

This is one of the most difficult parts of the process we call the "process."  You know the one.  Every time you get discouraged, you get irritated, you get -frustrated- your friends call it "all part of the process."

Frustration.

It is true, the process can be over whelming, irritating- maybe even annoying.  BUT

Could it be so when we get the finished list in our hands, the project done, the masterpiece mastered that we appreciate it more?

Maybe-
But I'll have to get back to you on that!

17 tips for every day things

I received this as an email and instead of saving the email, I decided to post it here so that I know I always have these great tips on my site. I plan on trying every single one of them too.
And the shaving tip?  Try baby oil-  amazing!!! (also pretty cheap)
So enjoy and know I didn't come up with any of these- just passing them along to you!!
A lot of these tips are things that I can actually use on a regular basis too.
1. Reheat Pizza

Heat up leftover pizza in a nonstick skillet on top of the stove , set heat to med-low and heat till warm. This keeps the crust crispy. No soggy micro pizza. I saw this on the cooking channel and it really works.
2. Easy Deviled Eggs

Put cooked egg yolks in a zip lock bag. Seal, mash till they are all broken up. Add remainder of ingredients, reseal, keep mashing it up mixing roughly, cut the tip of the baggy, squeeze mixture into egg. Just throw bag away when done easy clean up.
3. Expanding Frosting

When you buy a container of cake frosting from the store, whip it with your mixer for a few minutes. You can double it in size. You get to frost more cake/cupcakes with the same amount. You also eat less sugar and calories per serving.
4. Reheating Refrigerated Bread

To warm biscuits, pancakes, or muffins that were refrigerated , place them in a microwave with a cup of water. The increased moisture will keep the food moist and help it reheat faster.
5. Newspaper Weeds Away

Start putting in your plants, work the nutrients in your soil. Wet newspapers put layers around the plants overlapping as you go cover with mulch and forget about weeds. Weeds will get through some gardening plastic they will not get through wet newspapers.
6. Picking Up Broken Glass

Use a wet cotton ball or Q-tip to pick up the small shards of glass you can’t see easily.
7. No More Mosquitoes

Place a dryer sheet in your pocket. It will keep the mosquitoes away.
8. Squirrel Away!

To keep squirrels from eating your plants sprinkle your plants with cayenne pepper. The cayenne pepper doesn’t hurt the plant and the squirrels won’t come near it.
9. Flexible Vacuum

To get something out of a heat register or under the fridge add an empty paper towel roll or empty gift wrap roll to your vacuum. It can be bent or flattened to get in narrow openings.
10. Reducing Static Cling

Pin a small safety pin to the seam of your slip and you will not have a clingy skirt or dress. Same thing works with slacks that cling when wearing panty hose. Place pin in seam of slacks and — ta da! — static is gone.
11. Unsticky Measuring Cups

Before you pour sticky substances into a measuring cup, fill with hot water. Dump out the hot water, but don’t dry cup. Next, add your ingredient, such as peanut butter, and watch how easily it comes right out.
12. Foggy Windshield?

Hate foggy windshields? Buy a chalkboard eraser and keep it in the glove box of your car. When the windows fog, rub with the eraser! Works better than a cloth!
13. Reopening Envelopes

If you seal an envelope and then realize you forgot to include something inside, just place your sealed envelope in the freezer for an hour or two. Voila! It unseals easily.
14. Smoother Legs With Conditioner

Use your hair conditioner to shave your legs. It’s a lot cheaper than shaving cream and leaves your legs really smooth. It’s also a great way to use up the conditioner you bought but didn’t like when you tried it in your hair…
15. Goodbye Fruit Flies

To get rid of pesky fruit flies , take a small glass fill it 1/2″ with Apple Cider Vinegar and 2 drops of dish washing liquid , mix well. You will find those flies drawn to the cup and gone forever!
16. Get Rid of Ants

Put small piles of cornmeal where you see ants. They eat it, take it “home”, can’t digest it so it kills them. It may take a week or so, especially if it rains , but it works & you don’t have the worry about pets or small children being harmed!
17. Info About Clothes Dryers

The heating unit went out on my dryer! The gentleman that fixes things around the house for us told us that he wanted to show us something and he went over to the dryer and pulled out the lint filter. It was clean. (I always clean the lint from the filter after every load clothes.) He told us that he wanted to show us something; he took the filter over to the sink, ran hot water over it. The lint filter is made of a mesh material – I’m sure you know what your dryer’s lint filter looks like.
WELL…the hot water just sat on top of the mesh! It didn’t go through it at all! He told us that dryer sheets cause a film over that mesh that’s what burns out the heating unit. You can’t SEE the film , but it’s there. It’s wha t is in the dryer sheets to make your clothes soft and static free – that nice fragrance too, you know how they can feel waxy when you take them out of the box, well this stuff builds up on your clothes and on your lint screen This is also what causes dryer units to catch fire & potentially burn your house down with it! He said the best way to keep your dryer working for a very long time (& to keep your electric bill lower) is to take that filter out & wash it with hot soapy water & an old toothbrush (or other brush) at least every six months. He said that makes the life of the dryer at least twice as long!
How about that!?! Learn something new every day! I certainly didn’t know dryer sheets would do that. So, I thought I’d share!
Note: I went to my dryer & tested my screen by running water on it. The water ran through a little bit but mostly collected all the water in the mesh screen. I washed it with warm soapy water & a nylon brush & I had it done in 30 seconds. Then when I rinsed it the water ran right thru the screen! There wasn’t any puddling at all! That repairman knew what he was talking about!

Social Networking…are we really being social?

I was asked recently to assist some of my writing group members to, “get with it” and join the world wide web crawlers.  They needed my assistance getting set up on Linked In, Facebook, Twitter and even the basics of creating blogs. 

(Of course I found it irresistible to not set them up with Pinterest too, after all how could they see everything they were missing if they weren’t on it?)

I was astounded at how many simple things I had taken for granted when it came to the social world.  I began to wonder if I was the one who had been missing out on real social time…

I mean these people had wonderful social lives, filled with group activities as well as connections with several organizations, however they had never ventured off the beaten path to the world of internet yet.

I started thinking…

Maybe they had the right idea.   Maybe they were the ones who actually had a social life, and I was the one with the pretend group of friends.  Maybe I needed to branch out…

But by the end of the night I realized I liked my little safe virtual life-  I checked my boards on Pinterest, noting another few places I wanted to visit, updated my status and tweeted about my day…

Maybe in the end- I am virtually positive I like everything the way it is…

Experiencing History- First Hand

As we grow closer to Halloween, we are invited to more and more events where we have the opportunity to dress as someone else.  Wear another s shoes if you will, just for a few hours. 

This weekend I attended a fantastic night of historic themes.  Costumes were to be relevant to history of the area.  I of course, did a little research and found a fantastic inspiration in the “hidden” or less talked about history of my conservative state’s “Red Light” district. 

According to my research, not only was the oldest profession present here, it thrived.  In fact, a much northern town closed the last establishment in the mid ‘80’s.  Oh no, not 1880’s but the 1980’s.  I was fascinated with the groups that were beginning to try to piece back the history lost after more proper history was chosen to preserve.

It was settled.  I was going as a painted lady, a woman of the night, a girl for hire if you will.  I pulled up the old photos I could find on line and collected my petticoats, velvet skirts, little boots and stockings. 

The night of the event I was sure I wouldn’t be the only one with such a sassy idea.  After all, it was the oldest profession, and if there was mining- there were brothels.

Little did I know I was the only one who went out on that proverbial limb.  My observations of the crowd got me to thinking- No one in the room would have ever entered a brothel if we had been back in the day.  I was surrounded by upstanding citizens of the community, people who if we flipped a switch and moved us all back into the 1800’s, wouldn’t have given me the time of day.

I looked around, realizing a great deal of the people here wouldn’t either.  I didn’t know them, they were strangers to me, but my attire left nothing to the imagination to who or what I was dressed as.  And I was treated as such.  Now, no one was mean, or rude, but it was with great effort that the woman smiled and the men kept their eyes on my face.  It was if I had walked through the door to 100 years prior.  I was the woman in the room that everyone noticed, but pretended not to.

It was a empty feeling, a strange energy of loneliness and wondered…

Is this what every woman in this profession felt like walking into the general mercantile?  I knew the answer- yes.  My life tilted slightly in empathy for those who we pass on the street and ignore, the homeless, the wretch, even the occasional whore.

I went to the event focused on having a great time wearing a slightly edgy costume and having a great time.  I left having a great time, loving my fantastic costume and took home a little more tolerance-  Now that is a successful night. 

Longing for Yesterday…Even if we don’t remember it.

Have you noticed the trend lately?  It is everywhere from the styles in the fashion magazines to the new shows on TV.  It has cropped up in movies, bestselling books, even music talks of greats of an era long gone.  I’m talking about the 1960’s of course- after the poodles, but before the flower powered bell bottoms. 

It wasn’t as if the 60’s were without flaws.  From Kennedy to King, not to mention Cuba or the Viet Kong, the 1960’s were a decade of uproar and unrest.  So what is this fascination we are seeing? 

Is it a longing for yesterday?  A simpler time before blogs and computers, where eight channels was unheard of and dialing a phone was a literal statement.  Ah, maybe that is it.   People long for a time when the networks pushed the envelope by putting thirty second breaks between shows, when color TV was still a big deal and Ed Sullivan was the place to be. 

Yes, there was a lot of focus on TV back then, because it truly was the window to the world.  People watched the Moon Landing, the first raw, live coverage of war, they watched the music legends beginnings and learned about the first heart transplant.  The heard the president had been shot, heard Dr. King’s dream and then his shooting five years later.  In many ways the 1960’s were a dawning of a very electronic age.  So is that why so many people, most who weren’t even born during it, seem fascinated with the era?

I think no.  I believe the clothes have everything to do with it.  In a society where Walmart picture emails are clogging up your in box and t-shirt without holes is business casual, I think Americans miss a time when people looked nice.  Their shirts were pressed, their makeup was on, even their hair was done- and not in a cute baseball cap.  Woman wore heals to the market and men wore ties to the office.  Kids were clean and presentable.  A time when the lawns was perfect and without a brown spot from a neighborhood dog.  BBQ’s included the whole block (with red and white table clothes of course) and summertime for children meant complete freedom (as long as they didn’t get too dirty).  I think it was all about the styles.  The clothes, the hair, even the gloves.  Americans miss the pretty version of what we used to be.

Now, don’t get me wrong, they miss it, but not enough to pull out the crinoline and girdles.  The long for the beauty – the pomp and circumstance if you will, but not enough to actually change out of their comfy pj pants and miss matched sweat socks.  Instead, they will watch the programs, read the books and admire the images of yesteryear. 

And please don’t think I’m judging- I’m not.  I have to admit I know this from experience.  I love the look of the 1960’s, the crisp stiffness of their aprons, the perfect wave in their hair.  And many times, I try to copy it, but sadly I always fall short.  I don’t have the skills. 

Maybe that is what we are all looking backward for.  Maybe we are wishing we could learn some things from watching and reading about an era of change, upheaval and unjust actions.  Maybe we are searching for the perfect way to wear those accessories, or hat.  But maybe instead we will glean the skills left to be taught by that generation.   Without realizing it, maybe reliving that time, through movies and books, we will subconsciously learn the rest of the lessons we, as America, have yet to master.

 

Personal Moment in Clarity

I wanted to share this amazing lesson in people skills-  See who you know falls in this category- or maybe it is you.....

Many people who deal with struggles in their lives and careers, read and hear about deserve level– or are told they are not self motivated enough to succeed in their goals-  although these are valid points

But

What if there is a missing link….

Some people care more about value than anything else.

 Not monetary but emotional.

These people rarely care about the cars they drive, they rarely focus on the balance in their bank account.  They are motivated by their VALUE in others lives, jobs or organizations.  They struggle most with being self employed because they are used to getting their value from a boss or a supervisor. 

It is not recognition. 

It is simply emotional value.  They relentlessly deal with “not enough” programming. 

They battle with “taking things personal” because when they hear “you didn’t do enough”  they internalize “you are not enough”, thus constantly struggling with the “NOT ENOUGH STUFF” syndrome.

When a number is assigned to a goal or even a task and  they fall short– they hear “it’s not enough”  therefore they have lost their value as a human being. 

Even though it’s the goal or task they failed in not being a human being– They fail to see the difference 

These people tend to work best with pats on the head.  They need a simple thank you.  They want to feel people value them as a person not just as an employee/member.

It is critical to keep the value in WHO they are not WHAT they do.

Ask them have you done your best?  If they answer yes, let it go.  If they say no THEY WILL figure it out. 

Value people will find value without help.  They must.  It is a life force for them.

They are all personality types– they are all walks of life-

Excited to have a new value “source”

Hits an obstacle– gets told/finds they are not enough– lose value in the source

Search for a NEW Value source– even as simple as cleaning their house organizing a closet to find value

Finds new activity/source of value.  At this point, the person NEEDS to rediscover WHERE they had found value in previous task/job/goal or they will be lost possibly forever.

Great Lesson on People Skills

This is a wonderful explaination.  I found it very helpful!

The slower we move the faster we die- make no mistake moving is living*

Forgetting about so many things seem to be the trend of today- I haven’t updated in almost a week and here I sit wondering why no one is reading my page…hmmm-it is a mystery-


This week has been filled with ups and downs, in and outs, even overs and unders. Needless to say, I am ready for spring break- of course, aren’t we all? Wouldn’t it be great if we were 10 again and spring break simply meant no school and and outside world filled with endless possibilities?


But then again, why is it we can’t celebrate as adults? WE are in-charge now- no one is telling us when to go to bed, when to turn off the T.V. and most importantly if they are, well then maybe you need to do some internal conversations with yourself.

I am in awe of the number of adults I know that have given up entirely. Don’t we grow up waiting for the time that we are in control of our own lives, only to be bogged down with excuses and regrets? I believe in life liberty and the pursuit of YOUR happiness- that, by definition is whatever you want it to be-


In that pursuit of MY happiness, I find a great form of reflection in my favorite form of art- Movies- Ah yes, the cinema has captured some of the biggest and most touching things we as humans have ever experienced. In some ways a life can be completely defined by movies- look at John Hughes- he defined an entire generation.



So in my love of movies and their true reflections of life, I have two I am going to talk about today. One is currently in the theatres, while the other is out at your local Redbox- (or netflix if you will)



I firmly believe quotes are life changing speeches that stayed in the dryer too long. (Not that there is anything wrong with that)



“Imagine for a second that you're carrying a backpack. I want you to pack it with all the stuff that you have in your life... start with the little things…” *{Up in The Air}



Think about that for a second- how many of us carry extra things in our backpack that are a) not ours to carry, or b) really not needed? Think about it if you would set down the back pack- how would that feel?



Large novels and books have been written about the subject- one of those is something about packing light, but how many of us read these, think they are wonderful- and set them down never to be picked up again? But when George Clooney says it on a 40 foot screne, we tend listen. Sometimes.



Now it takes me to a movie playing in theatres now- Seriously, you have to go see this movie- it is moving amazing and whatever you do- DON’T try and find out what it is about- it will ruin your entire experience-



“Gandhi said that whatever you do in life will be insignificant. But it's very important that you do it… If you could hear me, I would say that our finger prints don't fade from the lives we've touched.” {Remember Me}



Now let’s look at that for a second- how could you possibly not get a few goose bumps when you read those two? Seriously? These are powerful thought provoking ideas-



I guess the moral of this entry today is LIVE- by whatever means you choose- just LIVE-



If you are lucky enough to be doing what you love, celebrate-

If you are lucky enough to be loving who you are with, celebrate-

If you are lucky enough to be living at all, celebrate-



I don’t mean through a Trump sized party, I mean look up at the sky and down at the ground and be THANKFUL that you are here-



And always wear sunscreen-* { Chicago Tribune, written by staff writer Mary Schmich}